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Sort Out Your Head

by Kayak Jones

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1.
12/21 02:58
I can't even speak because I've talked so much that I am cracking my teeth, and I can see you judging me. I swear I felt a change in me as your hand slipped away. "I never loved you, kid. You were just to damn desperate for anyone." Remember what you said? "I'll be here when you sort out your head." It locked me in. It pierced so deep that I could barely even tell how far your words cut into my skin. It shattered my vision when you said, "I never loved you, kid. You were just to damn desperate for anyone." Remember what you said? "I'll be here when you sort out your head" I've never been so exposed. Lining up our heartbeats for you to just pull away. You pulled away. "I never loved you, kid." Remember what you said? "I'll be here when you sort out your head" "I never loved you, kid. You were just to damn desperate for anyone." Remember what you said? "I'll be here when you sort out your head"
2.
Matter 02:40
My skin was steel, you made it rust and I just can't drink this off, hoping that it gets me through the day Carved into my skin: I'm just a fragile little kid I've been grounded by this, my self portrait lacks innocence You keep saying that I matter but it doesn't make me feel anything Stop saying that there's next year cause I don't think I'll make it past today I was holding my own but then your fingers traced the cracks in my bones You said "just open up, kid. Then you can make yourself whole again" You keep saying that I matter but it doesn't make me feel anything Stop saying that there's next year cause I don't think I'll make it past today It should have been me laid out on the concrete I have to leave this body, please just remember me You keep saying that I matter but it doesn't make me feel anything (I'm sorry I was born this way) Stop saying that there's next year cause I don't think I'll make it past today (You won't remember me) My skin was steel but now its rust, I'm giving in I'm fucking crushed You just couldn't even care at all But maybe I'll get over this and maybe I'll grow up from it All I keep thinking is it should have been me
3.
I should've known that this was all just too good to be true then you said, "I think I've finally lost my grip." A relapse, a car crash, I'm cold from collecting all these scars and it's taking its toll. I think I'm finally losing it. "I watched the light drain from your eyes." Maybe I'm not sure I'm better than this. Can you make me into something more than everything I am? Turn my heart of stone to gold again, cause I don't think that I want to be like anything I am. Can't you see the cracks lying in my skin? You never judged me. Then I always catch your eyes digging in. Pull the flesh from bone and let me go. "I watched the light drain from your eyes." Maybe I'm not sure I'm better than this. Can you make me into something more than everything I am? Turn my heart of stone to gold again, cause I don't think that I want to be like anything I am. It's the cold, sad truth. It doesn't matter how much love you have some things will never love you back. Maybe I'm not sure I'm better than this. Can you make me into something more than everything I am? Turn my heart of stone to gold again, cause I don't think that I want to be like anything I am.

credits

released October 27, 2017

Recorded, Engineered, and Mastered at The Barbershop Studios by Gary Cioni and Brett Romnes.

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Kayak Jones Dubuque, Iowa

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